3 ways to “own” your accent

“Hedvig, I want to ask you something. What do you think of my voice?”

We’d been nearing the end of our weekly call when she asked. As usual with this particular client, let’s call her Renu, I was sitting at my desk, notebook at the ready, my computer screen black in front of me, and my earplugs connected to my phone for our voice call.

I tilted my head in surprise and thought, well, there’s definitely something deeper going on here.

This was both a vulnerable and brave question to ask someone. Before answering, I probed a little: “What makes you ask that?”

As a language coach, I’ve had many clients who worry about how other people judge them for their accent or for the way that they speak. My aim is to help people become the kind of communicator they want to be, and sometimes, this means helping them to learn to “own” their unique way of speaking.

When I say “own” I mean turning something that you might feel insecure about into a strength. In other words, when you “own” your accent, you embrace people’s judgements of it rather than shy away from them.

I’ve seen this mindset shift help my clients go from “insecure and stuck in my head” to “never knew I could communicate this clearly and effectively”.

So let me tell you more about Renu’s story.

It turned out that she had noticed a few colleagues and partners acting dismissive around her opinions or making comments about her youth, implying she was inexperienced. Renu’s work involves a lot of phone calls, so her voice (and maybe word choice) is often her only way to make a first impression.

She wondered whether her voice was “too girly” or “not assertive enough”. And on top of that, she felt as though her foreign accent gave her English a softness that further diminished any authority in her voice.

In Renu’s case, there are definitely some gender- and pitch-related biases at work, too – for example, people with higher pitched voices are less likely to be voted into leadership positions – but I’ve heard from friends and clients across the gender (and voice pitch) spectrum facing similar issues and worries about their accent.

So what do you do? Here are my top 3 tips on how to truly stand in your power and “own” your accent.

Tip #1. Do the inner work

I’m giving you the harsh truth here: Judgement is part of the human experience.

You’re never going to be able to control how somebody else judges you, other people, or a situation. You can’t control what someone else thinks, feels or does.

What you can control is how you judge yourself – and remember that often, you are your harshest critic – and what you do.

An important step on the journey to becoming the best possible communicator you can be, is learning to accept that most things are outside of your control. Doing that “inner work” – noticing what is happening in your mind, and learning to change it – can help you in ways you never expected.

Tip #2. Face it head on 

You might have received direct feedback from a friend, colleague, or someone else about their impression of you, or their impression of you based on your accent.

Sometimes, the simple act of making someone aware of any false impression of you can help. And while we can’t do this to address every single bias or impression, we can address any common obvious ones.

If you’ve heard that you seem shy or quiet because of the way you speak, then you can challenge that impression by saying “I know I have a bit of a quiet voice, but don’t let that distract you from the fact that I have decades of experience in this field”.

Tip #3. Slow down your speech

We may talk about “foreign accents” or “non-standard accents”, and compare these to “standard” accents as the most ideal, most intelligible type of accent. But in reality, how intelligible your accent is depends purely on what your listener is used to hearing.

They’ll be used to hearing the accents of their family, friends and colleagues. Anything else is more difficult for them to understand.

So if you don’t sound like the people they interact with daily, then you’re not going to be able to compete in terms of having an understandable, intelligible accent from the point of view of your listener.

The way to work around that is to take some pauses and help the listener to keep up with what you’re saying, giving them time to process what you’ve said.

Remember to stand in your power

After coaching Renu through some of her concerns about her voice and accent, I reminded her of how far she has come: Both professionally and linguistically. Professionally, this young woman has more years of experience than her age might indicate, as well as some truly unique accomplishments. And that’s in addition to the fact that she’s doing most of her work in her third language, English.

I’m not saying this to have you compare yourself to Renu – but rather to remember that we often tend to focus on what we lack instead of what we already have. It’s about shifting your perception from seeing these challenges as barriers to viewing them as distinctive strengths.

If you're ready to dive deeper into this topic and start making tangible changes in how to truly own your voice and accent, I can humbly recommend my 5-week 1:1 intensive programme, where I help you understand how to make your English skills shine at your current level, assess where you are now and help identify strategies that will work for you personally based on these assessments. (Less intensive options are also available – please contact me for further details).

Your voice matters, and you don’t have to wait until you’ve reached some “perfect” accent or language level to start using it.