Excellent language learners do these 3 things differently

My motto as a language coach is that language learning is not what you think, but so much more: It's about mindset, psychology, habits, neuroscience, lifestyle, etc. I’d like to share a few observations on what people who really excel at language learning seem to do differently from others.

This is for you if you’re serious about learning or improving a language. Whether or not you’re taking language classes at the moment, you can have a think about how you might apply one or more of these ideas into your life.

Listen to the episode below, or keep reading for the blog post version.

Linear vs exponential learning

When I started working as a language teacher and then as a language coach, most of the people I’d work with had what I would call a linear progression: One session we might work on past tenses and then they'd be better at past tenses. The next week we might practise small talk, and then they'd feel more comfortable and confident with small talk. And so on. Then there's a second kind of progression, where we see an exponential improvement in their learning, and really that comes from the client, these are the people who do a few things differently from the rest. Or they're open to doing things differently and to working with me a little bit differently as we go through our language coaching sessions. Having said that, I believe both the linear and exponential types of learners are still getting the value that they are looking for out of the sessions, and it's definitely great to come to me with very specific language goals to work on.

But it's just so much fun to see real transformation in my clients when they are open and doing a few of the things below, and as a result, they’re then able to speak much more fluently, without really having to learn a lot more technical language skills, because they’re just using the language they already know more effectively, and without getting caught in a worry loop about saying the wrong thing.

So what are the things they do to get that transformation?

I don't want you to think they're putting in a lot of extra time or work, necessarily. Most of the people I work with are super busy professionals who have to be deliberate about how they spend their spare time, and they don't necessarily make time for 'homework' between sessions. However, there are things they might do, either while we're in the session together, or as they're going about their day-to-day lives in between sessions or even before and after working with me, that really help them learn faster and with more ease.

When I say ease I don't mean that they just learn stuff really easily, but there are things they do that reduce the barriers to learning and remembering that often come up, and that increase the likelihood that they'll remember something and be able to use it the next time the right situation comes up.

So what do these people do differently? Let me tell you about three things.

1. Learn vocabulary in context

The first thing that excellent language learners do differently is that they make a habit of learning new vocabulary in context. What I mean by that is, let's say you're in a meeting and somebody uses a word or phrase that you don't know. It doesn't have to be a meeting or a conversation - you might be reading something, watching a movie, or listening to a podcast (hehe). You make a note of this unfamiliar phrase, and maybe you even add this to a little list of new phrases. Then, in a quiet moment, you look up those phrases, thinking about the context when you heard each of them, and making sure you understand how they can be used.

Of course, if you have a language coach, you can always bring that list of phrases to your next session, and talk them through with your coach.

The important thing is that you're being proactive about learning words and phrases that are relevant to your everyday life. The alternative way of learning new vocabulary might be standardised vocab lists or language learning apps - but these will not be personalised to you, and you won't get that rich context that you get from a personal memory of when you were first introduced to the phrase in real life.

2. Spontaneously relate to new language

The second thing I've noticed people do is spontaneously relate new language to themselves. What I mean by that is, they give themselves permission to be a little self-centric, by making anything new that they learn highly relevant to themselves. We know that our memory works best when new information is made to be super relatable and applicable to our own lives. The traditional language learning approach is quite passive - where the student waits for the teacher to tell them what they need to learn next, and then they just focus on trying to remember and reproduce that language. But excellent language learners take a more proactive approach. They bring their own examples into coaching sessions, and they take new information and apply it to their own life circumstances.

For example, a little while ago I did a session with a client about expressions using the words 'make' and 'do' in English. Expressions like 'make the bed', 'do homework', 'do someone a favour', 'make up your mind', etc. We'd been working together for maybe 1-2 months at this point, and my client spontaneously came up with specific examples from her own life. As a language coach, I can help my clients to come up with their own examples, and it's part of my Neurolanguage Coaching training to always help them compare new language with existing knowledge. So when this becomes a habit that you then start to do spontaneously without a coach prompting you, it means that you're more easily stimulating the brain regions involved in forming lasting memories. So this is what I meant by ease earlier - for my client, it had become a habit when she was exposed to a new phrase, to immediately think about how she could apply it to herself. It wasn't hard because it was basically automatic. Ah that makes me so happy to think about.

3. Practice being comfortable with not knowing everything (yet)

The third and final thing that I want to mention is that excellent language learners practice being comfortable with not knowing everything. In other words they have a growth mindset and they know that they're in this learning process of using language more effectively and creatively to achieve their desired outcomes. I should probably do a full episode on just how important creative thinking is for language learners, because when you can think creatively about language, then you can talk your way around a word you don't know, and become much more adaptable to unfamiliar situations. I say this is something you practise, because it really isn't our natural state of mind for most of us anyway. We are wired to be afraid of the unknown, and afraid of the social rejection that might come from saying "I don't know", right, so it's a practice that some people work on regularly, to get to the point where they can say "I don't know" and still feel confident. And especially for people who may have a bit of impostor syndrome, or people who worry a lot about making mistakes, these can be real barriers to making progress as a language learner, because worrying takes a lot of brain power and a big chunk of our working memory, which we know is limited. And of course I'm repeating myself a little bit because I went into more detail about working memory and cognitive load in Episode 14 about self-trust - so you can check that out after this episode if you haven't heard it already.

So yeah, that final point is about feeling at ease and relaxed and even confident, even when you still have more to learn.

Striving for excellence, not perfection

So there you have it, three observations that I've made about what learners do who really excel and grow exponentially rather than linearly: They learn vocabulary in real-life contexts, they spontaneously relate new language with existing personal knowledge, and they practise being comfortable with not knowing everything yet.

So my question for you after this episode is quite simply, what do you think? Can you relate? Do you perhaps already do some of these things yourself? If this was a lot of information I don’t want you to feel overwhelmed or like you have to change everything you’re doing. Maybe if you’re looking to change something, what would be ONE thing you could choose to do differently?

Finally, I'm going to leave you with a little bonus for any listeners who want to know about a FINAL 4th thing that my most excellent learners do differently. If you visit abundate.org/xlnt - because you are excellent - and fill in a 2-question survey, then I'll email you a bonus observation and a bit of the science behind it too.